Long time ago those beryl waves appeared in front of my sapphire mirror,
doesn’t matter if you are someone’s loser or my winner,
down to the same ruby river we will forever shiver.

That opal fire in you soon exploded,
left its beautiful dust across your face,
I don’t mind, you know I will always be devoted.

Your brave heart conquers us all,
please leave and let it be,
this world for such a wise man just wasn’t meant to be.



between red and yellow spectrum of the light,
was my very own pride.

warm sun disappeared in all its glory,
night embraced everything that was left of you.

flame is now lost in crowd,
wave after wave, vanished.

forever and always in my memory will be,
how your soul shined for me.


Very Merry

A night before Christmas I rushed out of the store empty handed. There was not a single thing I liked. I walked and took a moment for myself just next to the river on my way home,  it was also very cold but I didn’t mind, because I needed fresh air and some time alone with myself. I had this huge burden in my chest again and then I realized it’s all coming back to me. I took my pills. I was fine. I was happy. Was this just a placebo effect?

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What makes me a black sheep, besides my black clothes?

I always knew that I am a bit different and some people I met actually told me this. They said I was special or some kind of weird. I always took that as a compliment and replied with a sincere »thank you«. Sometimes, out of curiosity, I just wondered why would they think that. Was it something I did? Or was it something I said? I have never been around many people in my lifetime. I’m not saying that I didn’t have friends, but no matter what I did or with who I hanged out, I always felt like I didn’t belong. It actually seemed like most people accepted me well, but still I had a feeling that I didn’t really fit in. It was like I’m walking on my own path and still felt totally lost. No matter what I did, I was all alone. And It’s not like this bothered me much, but soon I realized it is not very good for my own good being.

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