A night before Christmas I rushed out of the store empty handed. There was not a single thing I liked. I walked and took a moment for myself just next to the river on my way home, it was also very cold but I didn’t mind, because I needed fresh air and some time alone with myself. I had this huge burden in my chest again and then I realized it’s all coming back to me. I took my pills. I was fine. I was happy. Was this just a placebo effect?